Much of the way we operate in the world is invisible. It is internal. The parts that no-body sees. The inner dimensions of intentions, and history. That create our reality. It is our emotions, beliefs, and feelings. And what we tell ourselves about them realistically. An underlying energy.
In my work with coachees I use models where necessary, because it helps to navigate some areas of certainty. And while models are useful, and informative, they can sometimes overshadow a person’s mystery, that constitutes their whole story.
I have, and continue to use, and consult with, a variety of models and tools, in my coachee inquiries. Ones that we do together. And others from which they have already received feedback within their career and life journey. They make for great conversation around self-awareness and direction. Yet, the mystery, is also important. And individual to every person. It can be complex, and potentially powerful, in someone’s ability to seamlessly move forward.
Briefly, and topically, delving into a coachee’s mystery, offers great wisdom in the context of their patterns, notions, and history. And where they can lead themselves and others, next, more adequately.
One particular coachee, who was referred to me, had a wealth of mystery. His position was made redundant unexpectedly. He had an extraordinary career history, highly specialised technical skills, and unsure of his possibilities. The event had an enormous impact on him. He had invested his life in his work, devotedly, and now there was great uncertainty.
He started the process with me, hopefully. And came to his sessions religiously.
Yet we spent the first three sessions in complete silence. He was not ready to speak. I knew it would be ineffective to push him through it. To hype him into action. He needed to come to terms with his situation.
Having space, in silence, with another person, to deal with a situation, that words cannot articulate, was what was needed.
So we sat together, quietly. And made each next appointment subsequently.
By the fourth session something broke through. Trust. And Courage. He opened. And from there we built a platform from which to move him forward, at a pace that was ideally suited. It was a longer process than first anticipated. And a compassionate investment by his referring organisation. He consequently transitioned more successfully than anyone had originally reckoned with, when given the focus, he needed.
He became a success story.
He found a new role ideal for him. Moved back near family. And built a life incorporating the loves he had been neglecting. He had found himself again, happy.
While most coachees do not need that same level of support initially, the invisible work, engaging with the mystery, can be worthwhile and necessary. It allows an opportunity to call forward greatness, trustingly, and the next steps ideally.
Listening. Hearing. Coaching, for the person, and their process. Selecting from the toolbox of activities and modalities that suits them, creates conversations and breakthroughs that can be powerful. And lead to an outcome of longer term benefits, and holistic wellness. And that is surely good, for everybody.